Grandchildren embrace time with grandmothers who have Alzheimer’s and dementia
Kalondah Basking recalled being as young as 4 years old riding the bus with her grandmother to shop at G.C. Murphy Co. in Market Square, where her grandmother would purchase lunch meat and cheese for lunch from the deli.
Summer days were spent in a tiny plastic pool her grandmother would fill. They cooked together, listened to the radio or watched cartoons.
“I felt like I was on top of the world when I was with my grandmother,” said Basking, 40, who grew up in the Hill District and was the first-born grandchild. “She took me everywhere she went. I had everything I needed when I was with my grandma. She was protective of me.”
These days, Basking is doing the protecting.
Her grandmother, Joyce Browne-Russell, entered into a study by the Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center at the University of Pittsburgh, which diagnosed her with Alzheimer’s in 2022.
Alzheimer’s is a progressive, terminal disease that causes individuals to continue to lose skills and abilities. It affects one’s short-term memory, language, mobility and logic.
Dementia is an umbrella term for forms of memory loss that affect an individual’s ability to use reasoning, logic, abstract thinking and memory. It is not a disease but refers to a group of symptoms.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, those 75 or older are most affected by Alzheimer’s. About 1 in 9 people 65 or older has Alzheimer’s. Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer’s are women, and older Black Americans are about twice as likely to have Alzheimer’s or other dementias as older white Americans.
Alzheimer’s and dementia affect the entire family, not just the individual. Sept. 8 is National Grandparents’ Day, a day Basking treasures more than ever because it’s a day to celebrate Browne-Russell, 81, of East Liberty.
When she learned of her grandmother’s diagnosis, Basking was in denial.
“There is nothing that will prepare me for if she doesn’t know us,” Basking said. “I cry about it, and I think about how she would want me to handle this. Because of our relationship, I will not let this break me. She is the person I can express myself to without any judgment.”
No time frame
Basking’s mother, Jamita Poston of Garfield, said it’s been emotional because she doesn’t know what tomorrow holds for her mom.
“There is no time frame,” Poston said. “And it doesn’t get better. It is emotional to watch your loved one fade away and there is nothing you can do about it.”
Poston calls her mother daily. Sometimes Browne-Russell will call her minutes after they have had a conversation but won’t remember it. She will call multiple times a day. Poston said she tells her children that if their grandmother doesn’t remember something or repeats herself, that is not her — it’s the disease. She said she learned early on that if her mother doesn’t remember something, don’t say, “’Mom, we talked about that,’ because that will add to her frustration,” Poston said.
“It is so tough for my mom because she knows she used to be able to do a lot of things and she knows she can’t do those things now,” Poston said. “I can’t imagine what her mind is going through. It scares me because I am so much like my mom, and there isn’t a test to see if I will have this. I treasure her and want to make her as happy as possible.”
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there is no single genetic test that can determine whether a person is living with Alzheimer’s or dementia. It is a combination of diagnostic tools such as cognitive testing and a physical exam combined with medical history. Currently, there are studies of biological markers, which are measurable biological changes that can show if a disease is present or a person is at risk for developing a disease.
Some methods include conducting imaging scans and collecting samples of bodily fluids like blood, saliva, urine and cerebrospinal fluid. An Alzheimer’s diagnosis relies largely on observing cognitive decline — a point at which the disease already has damaged the brain.
Preventative measures include exercising, eating right, maintaining a healthy weight, getting plenty of sleep and not smoking.
Basking said she knows this is difficult for her mom and her uncle, Mario C. Browne.
“It is a delicate situation,” Basking said. “I am cherishing every moment I have with her. I have moments of delusion where I think she is getting better. Grandparents are nurturers. They have the secret to wisdom and a whole other vibe. She helped raise me. She has been my therapist. I want my grandma back.”
Browne, of North Huntingdon, said Browne-Russell was the first to notice her own memory loss.
“She let us know she was having trouble remembering, and from what I know about the disease now and its progression, she was giving us hints even before — saying that she was starting to forget and really being lonely at that point,” Browne said.
Browne, Poston and the grandchildren have made sure to visit Browne-Russell and her husband, Steve Russell Sr., to assist with care giving.
“It is definitely progressing,” Browne said. “I don’t know how you deal with it if she doesn’t know who you are. That is one of the things I don’t like to think about.”
Difficult for the entire family
“(For a grandparent) to be able to transmit stories to their own children and grandchildren will be priceless,” Browne said. “For great-grandchildren, the same. They will be able to recall and have pride in knowing that they knew their great-grandmother, an even rarer gift.”
Browne, 63, created Team Joyce for an upcoming Alzheimer’s walk. Browne’s daughter Zeinah Browne, 22, said her grandmother continues to be active.
“She is doing things to keep her mind in a certain place,” Zeinah Browne said. “I think you just have to have a lot of patience. I am trying to be there for my grandma and my parents.”
Mario Browne said seeing her six grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren always brightens his mom’s day.
“My grandchildren are a part of me,” said Browne-Russell, who went back to school to earn a bachelor’s degree at Carlow and a master’s degree at Pitt School of Social Work after her children were grown.
The grandparent-grandchild connection is strong, agreed Angela Reynolds, 54, of Windgap. She said Grandparents’ Day is special for her mother, Jonnie Lewis-Thorpe, 84, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia in 2019 and lives at the Glen Hazel Community Living Center. Lewis-Thorpe has eight grandchildren (one deceased at age 20) and two great-grandchildren.
Sometimes Lewis-Thorpe will confuse Reynolds with someone else. Reynolds said a turning point came for her when her mother’s doctor shared the results of her brain scan.
“I tell my children that she might not know you, but don’t take it personally,” Reynolds said. “Your grandmother loves you and she always will. We will always have the memories of my mom. The hardest part is the emotional loss of losing your parent before you lose your parent.”
One of Lewis-Thorpe’s grandchildren, LeAnn Reynolds, 15, recalled playing hide-and-seek with her grandmother when she was younger. As her grandmother began to forget things, LeAnn said, she didn’t understand what was happening right away.
“I want to help my mom care for my grandmother as much as possible,” LeAnn Reynolds said. “I know she forgets, but I also know my grandmother will also know us in her heart.”
The love will always be there
Three years ago, Christina Gipson knew something was different with her mom, Shirley Gipson. She had noticed because of a similar situation with her grandmother, Clara Jackson.
Like Jackson, Shirley Gipson would ask something and a few minutes later repeat the same question.
Christina Gipson, 56, of Aliquippa said she started to worry so she scheduled a doctor’s appointment. Shirley Gipson was diagnosed with dementia in November 2021.
“When caring for an aging parent with Alzheimer’s or dementia, it is both physical and mental because they are declining in mind and body,” Christina Gipson said. “It was bittersweet to get the diagnosis because now you know so you can do things to slow it down. But at the same time, you don’t want to hear it because there’s no cure for it.”
She, like Mario Browne, started participating in the annual Alzheimer’s walk and became a team captain.
“I wanted to advocate to honor my late grandmother and for my mother, my family and my community,” Christina Gipson said. “My kids knew their great-grandma, but I am not sure they understood at the time what was happening. I don’t think it really hit my daughters until it started happening to my mom.”
Christina Gipson’s daughter Sharla Jeter, 34, said it is hard sometimes that her grandmother is forgetful.
“You have to deal with different things that come with age,” said Jeter, one of her grandmother’s caregivers. “She is the rock of our family so this is difficult, but at the same time it’s something that we have to be very mindful of and understanding of even though it’s hard. I try to help my mom, and we all just try to work with it the best way we can.”
Jeter’s sister Shane’na Jeter, 36, said her grandmother helped raise her and is now helping to raise her 8-year-old twin sons, Landon and Langston.“She is kind,” Langston said of his great-grandmother.
Christina Gipson reminds the grandchildren and great-grandchildren that Shirley Gipson will always be their grandma.
“I think the importance of grandchildren being around is motivation to keep living, to keep pushing and remembering who they are,” Christina Gipson said. “I think just watching them grow and play and the laughter is the perfect remedy. Loneliness is a terrible feeling, so we make sure she’s surrounded by family every day.”
As Shirley Gipson sat on the couch surrounded by her daughter, granddaughters and great-grandchildren, she said she doesn’t like to be alone.
“I do forget sometimes, and there are times I know what I want to say, but I can’t get the words out,” Shirley Gipson said. “I love when the grandkids are here. I want them here all the time.”
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a TribLive reporter covering the region's diverse culinary scene and unique homes. She writes features about interesting people. The Edward R. Murrow award-winning journalist began her career as a sports reporter. She has been with the Trib for 26 years and is the author of "A Daughter's Promise." She can be reached at jharrop@triblive.com.
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