'Our little miracle': Pitcairn couple celebrates 1st Mother's Day after long wait
The image captures vials, needles and medicine bottles in the shape of a heart surrounding a photo of a baby’s sonogram and a onesie.
It’s a photo that shows the depth of her parents’ love for baby Everly Journey.
Her mom and dad waited more than a decade to hear this little girl’s heartbeat. Erin and Mike Tobias of Pitcairn underwent years of testing, heartache and disappointment.
They tried artificial insemination several times, and their dream finally came true through in vitro fertilization to conceive a child.
Everly Journey was born on Oct. 16. She weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and was 20 inches long.
Her name was chosen to symbolize the couple’s arduous route to parenthood.
“As soon as I heard her cry, I lost it,” said Erin Tobias as Everly Journey, who is about to get her second tooth, snuggled on her mom’s chest. “It felt like the biggest weight had been lifted off of me. I can’t describe it in words.”
Mother’s Day
Erin Tobias will celebrate her first Mother’s Day on May 8.
“I am looking forward to Mother’s Day big time,” she said. “It has been an emotional day. We have our moms, and we always love to celebrate with them. But this year will be extra special.”
The plan is a family brunch at Rizzo’s Malabar Inn in Salem Township, a time to surround Everly Journey with love.
“Every holiday had been hard, but we kept believing in each other,” said Mike Tobias, 46. “I knew she would be the best mom ever … without a doubt.”
Being a mother is the best title in the world, said Erin, 38, who has worked in daycare since she was 18. She currently runs her own daycare for children of friends and family.
Erin and Mike Tobias met at the Pitcairn Italian Club. They were married on May 17, 2008
When they started having the conversations on beginning a family, they actively tried for about six months with no success. Tests, though, showed nothing was wrong.
Infertility struggles
At the end of 2010, they started on an intrauterine insemination cycle, a type of artificial insemination.
It didn’t work.
A few years later, they tried again at the Center for Fertility and Reproductive Endocrinology at UPMC Magee-Womens Hospital in Oakland.
Still nothing.
In 2018, they decided to start in vitro fertilization. In order to meet the anesthesiologist’s body mass index requirements to be put under for egg retrieval surgery, Erin needed to lose weight. She proceeded to drop 50 pounds.
The onset of the pandemic delayed the process, but on Sept. 3, 2020, she underwent egg retrieval surgery. An embryo was transferred to the uterus.
But it did not take.
A baby
They had one final embryo.
On Feb. 12, 2021, the coupled received the news that Erin was pregnant.
The day they shared it with family was Valentine’s Day. Mike Tobias said he and Erin are so thankful for their parents and family and friends who have continually offered support through this process.
Connecting with others through infertility groups via social media helped them feel they were alone, Erin said. On one of the support groups was a post stating:
“Infertility is like going to an amusement park and you have no ticket. And no matter how hard you try to plead or beg you can’t get one and instead have to stand back at the gate and watch everyone laugh play and enjoy the rides. You can see the joy all around you but cannot partake in all the fun.”
National Infertility Awareness Week is April 24-30.
Approximately one in eight couples are affected by infertility in the United States, according to fertilityanswers.com. That’s about 6.7 million people each year who have trouble conceiving.
A medical path
Regarding the Tobiases’ trouble conceiving, Dr. Meredith Snook treated the couple since 2016. She is assistant professor and associate program director for the Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility fellowship at UPMC Magee-Womens Hospital.
Snook said the need to help couples be able to conceive a child is growing. At one point, there were 1,800 people on a waiting list as either a new patient or return visit. They hospital has hired more staff and physicians to accommodate the number.
Erin and Mike’s diagnosis was unexplained infertility, as all of the testing came back normal. But Snook said she uses the term “unidentified infertility”: There is something occurring, or not happening, that is resulting in a couple not getting pregnant on their own.
But there might be something that hasn’t been identified.
“There are so many things that need to go right for conception to occur and an embryo to implant. We cannot test for a lot of possible factors, and we don’t know all of these critical elements, either,” Snook said. “This diagnosis can be encouraging, too, that conception could still occur spontaneously.”
Snook said she doesn’t normally see patients for as long as the Tobiases.
“If I saw Erin on Mother’s Day, I’d give her a big hug and say, ‘You did this, and this little girl is going to know how hard her mama fought for her, how wanted and loved she is. I will never forget your dedication and focus on what has been most important to you and Mike — building your family,’” Snook said.
Sharing their story
The couple decided to share their story as a way to give hope to others.
“We watched other couples have the dream we wanted,” Erin Tobias said. “I had this gut feeling that we needed to keep trying. I never wanted to throw in the towel. We stayed positive.”
Everly Journey took her time coming into the world. Erin Tobias was admitted to Allegheny Health Network’s Forbes Hospital on a Thursday. The baby was delivered Saturday by Cesarean section. The couple applauded the hospital staff members who helped deliver their baby daughter.
Mike Tobias, who works for a nonprofit organization, does some traveling for his job and has to work in the office at times.
“I don’t want to travel anymore or go into the office if I don’t have to. I don’t want to be away from her,” he said about his daughter. “I want to be right here. I can’t get enough of her.”
They plan to keep the heart-shaped photo with most of the needles and medications for the IVF and two transfer cycles.
“They were to show the struggle and strength we underwent to get our happy ending and our little miracle,” Erin Tobias said as she cradled Everly Journey. “When I look at her, I can’t believe she is ours.”
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a TribLive reporter covering the region's diverse culinary scene and unique homes. She writes features about interesting people. The Edward R. Murrow award-winning journalist began her career as a sports reporter. She has been with the Trib for 26 years and is the author of "A Daughter's Promise." She can be reached at jharrop@triblive.com.
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