Editorial: B. Smith’s story worth remembering
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Barbara “B.” Smith was a lot of things to a lot of people.
A native of Everson in Fayette County who graduated from Southmoreland High School, she went into modeling and became a groundbreaker for black women in the fashion industry. She was a restaurateur and cookbook author. She was a television star and a magazine maven. She did everything, and she did it all just like her eponymous show. She was “B. Smith with Style.”
But that might not be why she is remembered.
Smith’s passing on Saturday at her Long Island, N.Y., home, announced by her family, might be memorable because of what family meant at the end of her life.
Smith was diagnosed in 2013 with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. It was just a hair early. She was 64 at the time. Early onset refers to a diagnosis before 65. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, she was one of the roughly 5.5 million people diagnosed with the brain disorder that slowly steals memories and then thought processes and finally the ability to do even the most mundane tasks.
It is a slow march to the grave. Where some diseases leave an intact mind struggling inside a dying body, Alzheimer’s attacks the brain first, then slowly whittles away its communication with the body. It might take four to eight years after diagnosis for the end to come. It might take as long as 20.
It is impossible to say that 5.5 million people are living with, or struggling with, or battling Alzheimer’s because that only takes into consideration the people with the diagnosis. It doesn’t count the people who love them and are slowly losing them while still tasked with the responsibility of providing care.
That is where Smith comes in. Five years into her diagnosis, her husband, Dan Gasby, went public with his relationship with girlfriend Alex Lerner. It was a controversial announcement that prompted criticism and debate.
But regardless of Gasby’s decision, it points to a terrible reality of life with partners or parents affected by any geriatric diseases, but particularly Alzheimer’s and dementia. The grieving is long, slow and draining, as the person you love dies by inches but your own life continues.
Smith’s story, including the 2016 book she wrote with Gasby, “Before I Forget,” tells a story of the need for end of life planning earlier than anticipated, and sad, tough conversations about what coming to the end means for both the person who slips away and the people who are left behind.