Jen Forsyth: Please don’t drink and drive
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As the holidays approach, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve, you will hear reminders for shopping deals, reminders about holiday food, reminders about family and yes, reminders not to drink and drive.
It may feel a little early for that last one. I certainly thought it was two years ago when I answered a call at my daughter’s cheer competition in Louisville, Ky. It was from my oldest son, and it was the worst call of my life.
“Mom, there was an accident. Dad is dead!”
I don’t remember much from that day. I guess I was in shock. Just a bunch of people hugging me and putting my daughter and I in a car heading back to Pittsburgh. All I wanted to do was get home to my boys. The reality of my husband of 23 years being gone hadn’t even hit me. I think part of me was hoping I’d walk in the door and he would be there, like nothing ever happened.
Of could that was not the case. My neighbor was with my boys when I got home, and I spent the majority of the car ride there on the phone with the coroner, the funeral home and my husband’s family. It was real, all right.
Then came the reality of what happened the next morning. The whole way home from Kentucky, I just knew my husband had been in a car accident. Then the Cranberry Township police called. The man who hit my husband was in jail on suspicion of drunk driving. This person was drunk and high on cocaine and drove a U-Haul through a red light at full speed into the love of my life. It was almost too much to bear.
When a drunk driver kills your loved one, everything changes. There is your life before the crash and there is life after the crash. After the crash you just go through the motions, you hold each other up and just try to get through the day. Later on you seem happy, but there is a huge hole in your heart that will never be filled again. You are sad, you are angry, you are scared. In our case, I was worried because B.J. was the main breadwinner in our family and it’s a matter of what bills can be paid and when. Everyone tells you that you all are going to be OK, but are you really? How do they know?
Nov. 13 would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. We used to celebrate by going to dinner and dancing to our song “Fields of Gold” by Sting. Instead, I’ll be laying roses on a cross by the side of the road where my husband died.
According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, a person dies in a drunk driving crash every 39 minutes. Darren Martin, the man who killed B.J., is serving up to 10 years in prison, but could be out in as soon as seven with parole, so the penalties for drunk driving are not very harsh.
As a family who is on the suffering end of this equation, we urge you and urge you early this holiday season to please do not drink and drive! We love B.J. and miss him every single day. It’s a pain I would not wish on anyone. Please be responsible and give the keys to someone else if you drink. Please stay out there, and our family wishes you all a blessed upcoming holiday season.
Jen Forsyth lives in Cranberry Township.