Mark Madden: Enjoy Paul Skenes, Pittsburgh's only hope for a winner

Only one exciting thing is on the horizon for Pittsburgh sports: When it’s Paul Skenes’ turn to pitch.

The Pirates’ phenom/ace will take the mound every fifth day or so, with longer breaks occasionally finagled so he starts at PNC Park as much as possible. No sense in Skenes selling tickets for another team.

Skenes figures to post lots of improbable numbers, the craziest being an increase in home attendance for the Pirates despite them wasting Skenes and a mostly decent pitching rotation via cutting payroll. Here’s betting attendance rises from 1.72 million in 2024 to over 2 million in 2025.

Skenes is a license to print money for Pirates owner Bob Nutting. Skenes will be the talk of Pittsburgh this season, at least until:

• He hits his pitch count.

• He hits his innings count.

• He gets traded.

• His elbow explodes.

• His red-hot girlfriend Livvy Dunne gets sick of living in Pittsburgh. (That can’t be far off. Dunne might ask to get traded before Skenes does.)

• All of the above.

I’m hoping for none of the above.

I’m sure Skenes is, too. He wants to do his time quietly, like Brooks in “The Shawshank Redemption.” Until Brooks hung himself. If Skenes gets minimal run support, how long before he looks for the sewage pipe?

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That’s assuming new signing Tommy Pham doesn’t make the Pirates’ offense into a juggernaut.

I’m not exaggerating. Skenes’ starts are all Pittsburgh has.

The Steelers are stuck in the mushy middle, with no plan beyond being the Steelers.

The Penguins have a strategy to rebuild, but it’s likely to take a while. (Watching Sidney Crosby is still worth the price of a ticket. Don’t take him for granted.)

Skenes will be terrific. The Pirates won’t be.

Besides Skenes, the only thing offering the city hope is the billboard brigade.

Billboards have been erected in Pittsburgh that chastise Pirates and Steelers ownership, encouraging them to sell their respective teams.

The anti-Nutting billboard was paid for by a group of dorks. This coterie has also protested outside PNC Park. The nerds are still looking for revenge.

The one attacking Art Rooney II is the work of a lone dork, somebody whose claim to fame is running a big Steelers tailgate. That makes you a king in Pittsburgh.

A member of the group behind the anti-Nutting billboard called my radio program and said that their campaign would result in the Pirates being sold. He had just withstood a solid 45 seconds of being harangued by me, so full credit for resilience.

If only it were as simple as dipsticks erecting billboards.

Nobody besides the tailgate boob wants Rooney to sell the Steelers. But how about some change for the better? Don’t just run it back.

As for the Pirates, previous owner Kevin McClatchy did even worse on the field than Nutting. Nutting has zero ambition and enough profit to afford some. That’s the frustrating part.

Let’s just enjoy Skenes, who says he’s ready to pitch 240 innings.

Why not go for 300 innings?

Why not start Skenes every fourth day?

Why not let Skenes go nine?

No point in saving his arm for the Yankees.