Mark Madden: Flyers continue to look foolish with offseason decisions

The Pittsburgh Penguins aren’t in prime position. Not like from 2008-18. They’re a pretty good team, no better. Their stars are aging. They haven’t won a playoff series since ’18. They have few prospects to refresh with. They’re stale. Not a legit Stanley Cup contender.

But it could be worse.

They could be the Philadelphia Flyers.

At one point, the Flyers were known as the seventh Original Six team, whatever that means. They are currently excrement dipped in orange.

In the latest installment of them looking foolish, the Flyers knew for years that standout Calgary winger Johnny Gaudreau was very likely to become a free agent this past Wednesday. He was born and raised in the Philadelphia area. By many accounts, Gaudreau wanted to come home.

He didn’t. He couldn’t.

Despite seeing this coming from miles away, the Flyers neglected to clear sufficient salary-cap space to be able to sign Gaudreau.

Not that shedding, for example, the $7 million cap hit of aging and mostly useless winger James Van Riemsdyk was going to be easy. But at least his contract runs out after this coming season. When Gaudreau won’t be available.

More Mark Madden:

• With Evgeni Malkin signed, Penguins' plan comes together, for better or worse
• From Evgeni Malkin to Heinz Field, fans' priorities are out of whack
• Given Penguins' erroneous quest, Letang's contract length doesn't matter

The Flyers opened some cap space by buying out the contract of winger Oskar Lindblom. He’s a cancer survivor. The Flyers milked all the goodwill they could out of that development, then sent Lindblom packing. Not a good look.

Lindblom is 25, has some promise and only made $3 million per year. Why would you want somebody like that? (Here’s wishing the Penguins had him.)

The Flyers’ big offseason acquisitions so far: trading with Carolina for defenseman Tony DeAngelo and signing winger Nicolas Deslauriers.

Both gets are on-brand.

DeAngelo was suspended in junior hockey for using “homophobic, racist and sexist language” and for abuse of officials. With Arizona, he got suspended for abusing officials. With the New York Rangers, he fought a teammate and got bought out. DeAngelo has acted like a jerk on social media. (I have, too.)

Deslauriers is a goon. Roll over, Dave Schultz, and tell Don Saleski the news.

The Flyers also inked a 35-year-old bottom-pair defenseman. Does it matter who it is?

Near the end of last season, the Flyers traded Claude Giroux to Florida. Giroux was the Flyers’ captain and the closest thing the team had to a hero. Giroux reportedly chose Florida over Colorado because he preferred the weather. How did that work out?

Giroux went to free agency and signed with Ottawa. The Senators are a team on the rise, but Giroux’s preferred destination this time was likely anywhere but Philadelphia. (The Flyers didn’t have the cap room anyway.)

The Flyers’ GM is Chuck Fletcher. He’s the Penguins’ former assistant GM. He seemed to be relatively smart when he was in Pittsburgh. But he went to Philadelphia and got dumb. It seems ex-Flyers GM Ron Hextall came to Pittsburgh and got smart. (Smarter, anyway.)

Maybe it’s something in the Tastykakes or soft pretzels.

The Penguins are still decent and are concluding a great run. The Flyers are dog manure and haven’t won a Stanley Cup since ’75.

The Flyers have lost in six Stanley Cup finals since ’75. They’ve been sucking or choking for 47 years.

When the Flyers did win, it was marred. They used organized gangland violence to win their only Cups in ’74 and ’75, and to shamefully beat Soviet Red Army in ’76. They ruined hockey in the first half of the ’70s and have reaped that karma ever since.

The Penguins have won five Cups in the interim, doing it with a class and style Flyers have never achieved.

The best part? It’s getting worse for the Flyers.

They ship out fan favorites and replace them with bums.

They betray their twisted tradition by being an easy team against which to play.

Fletcher has no plan. He’s not retooling. He’s not rebuilding. He’s stuck betwixt and between.

John Tortorella is their new coach. So everybody involved will be miserable.

Lots of rats deserted the sinking ship: The Flyers played home games to just 84.7% of capacity this past season.

To quote Red Forman, it’s more glorious than D-Day.

In 2025, it will be 50 years since the Flyers were last champions. (They won’t be winning in the interim.)

In 2031, the ’74 and ’75 Flyers will be taken off the Stanley Cup to make room for newer winners. It will be like ’74 and ’75 never happened. It’s like a Xerox of a Xerox of a Xerox: It fades a bit more all the time. It’s just an old VHS tape.

Then, more than ever, the phrase will apply: Have you ever seen the Flyers win the Cup? HAW, HAW, HAW, HAW!