Mark Madden Hot Take: What if the Steelers acquired Patrick Mahomes? It could happen, right?

Breaking news:

The Pittsburgh Steelers asked Kansas City about acquiring quarterback Patrick Mahomes. (Except they didn’t.)

The Chiefs said Mahomes wasn’t available. (Or would have if they had been asked.)

A source close to the Chiefs said, “You must be stupid. Never happened.”

A source inside the Steelers organization said, “We must be stupid. We drafted Kenny Pickett in the first round.”

It’s nonetheless a tantalizing prospect: What if the Steelers got Mahomes? Is the door open, if only just a crack?

If it is, it’s likely to be slammed shut on the fingers of new Pirates first baseman Spencer Horwitz, and he’ll be out a couple more months. Just what the Pirates needed, the next Lonnie Chisenhall.

If Mahomes comes to the Steelers, can Travis Kelce be far behind? Taylor Swift and Livvy Dunne could hang out and plot escape fantasies.

It would be like Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski going to Tampa Bay and winning another Super Bowl together. (Who’s more annoying, Kelce or Gronkowski? Kelce has the edge via recency bias, more TV ads, that meathead podcast he and his brother do and the rancid omnipresence his gal pal provides.)

Mahomes’ dad, Patrick Sr., used to pitch for the Pirates. He’s taking on ex-MLB pitcher/racist/homophobe John Rocker in a celebrity fight.

Imagine all the new opponents that Patrick Sr. could potentially have in Pittsburgh.

First off, Sally Wiggin. (I’d pay to see that.) Ed Gainey. Me, eventually. Jalapeno Hannah if Pirates attendance is slow. Rick Sebak.

Heck, Patrick Sr. might again pitch for the Pirates. That could enable them to trade Paul Skenes. (The New York Yankees have inquired.)

The Steelers didn’t ask Kansas City about Mahomes.

The Chiefs won’t ever trade him.

He’s got a full no-movement clause in his contract.

The dead salary cap figure would be exorbitant for the Chiefs.

But what if it happens? What would the Steelers have to give up?

Maybe the Chiefs take Najee Harris via a sign-and-trade.

If the Steelers are dumb enough to re-up Harris long term and at a higher annual figure than if they hadn’t declined Harris’ fifth-year option on his rookie deal — that would have been $6.7 million — perhaps the Chiefs are dumber still. (Except they’re not.)

I don’t think sign-and-trades happen in the NFL. That’s an NBA thing. But that’s the joy of writing fiction.

The Steelers could get Mahomes.

I don’t care how many “experts” or “insiders” who have talked to “sources” tell me that this just won’t happen. Keep your “facts” to yourself.

Some dork from the Golf Channel said Mahomes to the Steelers is possible. Why would that guy lie? Golf is an honorable endeavor.

Me: I saw Smails before. He was cheating.

Golf Channel guy: Nobody likes a tattletale, Danny. Except, of course, me.

Imagine the jersey sales! (Mahomes can’t wear No. 15. That belongs to Ben Skowronek, a fine veteran with a Super Bowl ring. Skowronek can show Mahomes how to win. Cam Heyward can teach him the Steelers way, whatever that is.)

Everybody says Mahomes to the Steelers won’t happen. That it has no basis in fact whatsoever. Because it doesn’t.

But they’re forgetting the trump card: Everybody wants to play for Mike Tomlin. Did you know Coach T has never had a losing season?