Mark Madden: NHL's return plan has sound foundation, but things will still get weird

When the NHL resumes, it’s going to be weird. Can’t help but be.

As Kris Letang mentioned on my radio program, it’s the first time he has spent the summer in Pittsburgh. It’s the first time the Stanley Cup playoffs will start Aug. 1.

When players are unavailable, they will be uniformly referred to as “unfit to play.” Some will have covid-19. We can speculate, but won’t know unless they say so.

Toronto center Auston Matthews said so, but he’s OK now. A website called Matthews the “poster boy” for covid in the NHL, whatever that means. Matthews’ paycheck this year was supposed to be $15.9 million. He got most of it. A telethon isn’t required.

Monday was the NHL’s deadline to opt out of playing. Calgary defenseman Travis Hamonic is the biggest name who won’t play. That means no big names won’t play.

The NHL’s plan has the sensible foundation of having its bubbles in Canada, specifically Toronto and Edmonton, and even more sensibly, not in the United States. Instagram models can’t get across the border and must settle for storming the NBA’s bubble.

The NHL’s plan also has the absolute insanity of not putting players in quarantine during training camp. The Penguins celebrated that dumbness with a bang when nine players missed the first three days of training camp because of potential secondary exposure. (They were “unfit to play.” There’s going to be a lot of that going around.)

The only one of those nine players who figures to be in the lineup Aug. 1 vs. Montreal is Patric Hornqvist. The virus must only attack inferior talent. (No offense, Horny.) There must have been a big covid party in Wilkes-Barre shortly before camp.

Not only is the NHL not quarantining players before the bubble, but when the conference finals are reached and the Eastern Conference survivors vacate Toronto for Edmonton, families can join the players still involved. (Not sure what the policy will be for Instagram models.)

At that point, the bubble will be established, and the end will be in sight — so the NHL will inexplicably break the bubble.

Sure, the players would like to see their families. But when they leave for their respective bubbles, they will have had over four uninterrupted months with their wives and kids. Now it’s time to work, and completing the job will require walking a tightrope off the ice.

But it’s all about family. St. Louis captain Alex Pietrangelo leaves behind his 2-year-old triplets, regrettably not named Barclay, Bob and Billy. Said Columbus captain Nick Foligno, “The promise I made to my kids is I’m going to come home with the Cup.” Imagine telling your children a bold-faced lie, then leaving. (Daddy won’t be gone long.)

Will this work? Can the NHL pull it off?

The chances would be a lot better if the players were quarantined during camp, and if the bubble was maintained to the conclusion of play.

But NHL players should be more responsible than, say, NBA players, three of whom broke that league’s bubble in Orlando right away because, well, they just plumb forgot. (Have you seen anybody else “forget”? Call the NBA’s snitch hotline!)

Penguins captain Sidney Crosby is reportedly holding his teammates accountable for dodging the ’rona, which is why only nine of them missed the first three practices. Roll over, Mark Messier, and tell Gen. George S. Patton the news.

Penguins fans should hope for the best, because if there’s a takeaway from camp’s early days, it’s that Crosby and Evgeni Malkin are flying. When you’re supremely talented, in your 30s and you can start the playoffs fresh as a daisy, that translates to blood in the water.