Mark Madden: Paul Skenes' debut went from hype to humiliation for Pirates

Now that the dust has settled for a few days, let’s discuss what actually happened when Paul Skenes debuted.

Stooges are going to stooge, and they mostly did after Skenes’ four-plus innings Saturday against the Chicago Cubs at PNC Park. (A PNC Park that was almost 3,000 short of a sellout. For Skenes’ much-hyped first MLB start. What a great baseball town.)

You got caught up in the emotion of the moment. That’s what the Pirates do: They kick you right in the feels. Skenes hugged his grandma, and his girlfriend is very attractive and the crowd oohed and aahed when the radar gun cracked 100 mph.

We’ve already put Skenes on a very Oneil Cruz-like trajectory: We’re concerned more about the pitch being fast, not whether it retired the batter. Just like Cruz with exit velocity. Doesn’t matter if the ball got caught.

Skenes has got to learn to pitch to contact.

Skenes looked like he was overthrowing, probably because of the adrenaline of the occasion. He was often off the plate as a result. If you look at everything that happened instead of just the 17 pitches Skenes threw at 100 mph or better, Skenes had a lackluster outing. He never had the command he displayed in the minors.

Skenes’ ERA is 6.75, and his WHIP is 2.00. It’s the smallest of samples, but baseball is one sport where the numbers don’t lie even a little bit. But if you’re disappointed, just grab the radar gun.

In terms of the big picture, Skenes will be fine. He’s got the tools to win a Cy Young Award somewhere else. Here’s betting he excels in his second start.

But what happened after Skenes exited made what should have been a memorable day into an absolute farce.

There was a rain delay of 2 hours, 20 minutes. That was Mother Nature’s contribution to a farcical sequence.

Pirates manager Derek Shelton can’t control the weather. But he didn’t control anything.

Skenes threw 84 pitches. He threw 74 during the first four innings. The most pitches he threw in a Triple-A appearance was 75.

Why did Shelton put Skenes back on the mound for the fifth? Very likely to fulfill the romantic notion of Skenes qualifying to get the win by pitching five innings. The Pirates had painstakingly micromanaged Skenes’ workload during his entire tenure with the organization, but Shelton took risk in an attempt to burnish Skenes’ legend via getting him a win, a stat that (unfortunately) has come to mean almost nothing.

Skenes left with two men on, nobody out. Relief pitcher Kyle Nicolas got two outs. Then the fun started.

Nicolas hit a batter, then threw 12 straight balls to walk in three runs. Wild thing, you make my heart sing. Bob Uecker should have been doing play-by-play.

Why did Nicolas stay in the game for 12 straight balls? Because Shelton didn’t have anybody ready to come in. On a mammoth day for the franchise, Shelton gagged.

Josh Fleming got up, got warm and came in. He walked in another run. Fleming did throw one strike, however. With a franchise on the rise, you’re grateful for progress.

An infield single tied the score. The rain fell. Colin Holderman replaced Fleming. Holderman walked in two runs — 8-6, Cubs.

In a single inning, the Pirates walked in six runs. You know all that, but I’m recapping it so I can add what not enough did: The aftermath of Skenes’ departure turned a day for celebration into one the most embarrassing innings of the franchise’s history. On the day that Skenes debuted, fans at PNC Park were chanting, “Fire Shelton!”

The Pirates won’t. Shelton works cheap, and owner Bob Nutting won’t pay for better.

It doesn’t matter that the Pirates rallied to somehow win 10-9 or that they hit five home runs. A win is a win, but the Pirates won’t get enough of them.

It was supposed to be a great day. Instead, it was an embarrassment witnessed by the entirety of baseball.

That’s how Paul Skenes’ MLB debut will be remembered. Even when he wins the World Series for the New York Yankees.

Of Nicolas, Shelton said, “It’s one of those things he will be better for.”

I can’t imagine how. “Ball four. Ball eight. Ball 12.”