Mark Madden: Umpires hardly at root of Pirates' offensive struggles — and other sports notes

In the seasons of wither, we’ll stand and deliver. Be strong and laugh and shout at the refreshing sports notes. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before…

• Andrew McCutchen is hitting .182 with 31 strikeouts in 88 at-bats. The Pirates have scored 121 runs, ranking 24th in MLB. They have whiffed 391 times, sixth most in MLB. The Pirates’ offense is putrid. But McCutchen blames the umpires: “The strike zone’s horrible. It’s just atrocious.” McCutchen is correct. But that’s MLB-wide, not indigenous to the Pirates and hardly at the root of their offensive problems, or McCutchen’s. McCutchen looks as awful as the umpires’ strike zone. He’s flailing, and now he’s whining.

• Bringing McCutchen back to the Pirates was a good idea. But it was always going to end badly. Because McCutchen won’t quit. He won’t get DFA’d and shouldn’t. The organization won’t disrespect him like that. So it’s like Willie Mays with the New York Mets. Not pretty.

• Paul Skenes had his first meh outing in Triple-A. He posted just four strikeouts in 4⅓ innings. He allowed a home run. It would be typical Pirates to summon Skenes after the first time he struggled in the minors. But the Pirates could use a big crowd. Only 12,900 turned up Sunday at PNC Park. Their average attendance of 17,800 ranks sixth worst in MLB. It’s about cash flow, not pitch count.

• Skenes’ struggles occurred the first time he pitched on four days of rest. Maybe there’s something to that process.

• Skenes and Jared Jones figure to be very good major-league pitchers. But the Pirates will either waste them or mess them up. See Davis, Henry. Davis was the first pick overall in 2021’s draft. The Pirates had no plan for Davis and no position. Now he’s 25 and in the minors after starting the season batting .162 in Pittsburgh. It’s an epic fail and exemplary of the organization’s abject incompetence.

• I often say that Oneil Cruz doesn’t know how to play baseball. His errors are frequent and egregious. Like Sunday when Cruz stood at home plate and admired what he thought was a homer but got turned into a single by his stupidity. But at least when his considerable raw talent smashes the odd actual home run, Cruz runs the bases in the correct order. Take what you can get.

• The Shohei Ohtani gambling scandal just disappeared, didn’t it? Funny how that happened.

• “Scared hockey” is too often wrongly labeled “classic playoff hockey.” Game 7 between Boston and Toronto was scoreless for 49 minutes because both teams played conservatively bordering on terrified. It was awful to watch.

• The Maple Leafs are the most impotent franchise in pro sports. Despite a plethora of resources and playing in the world’s hockey capital, Toronto hasn’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967 when the NHL had six teams. The Leafs are nowhere close to getting it right. But Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe seems one step closer to matriculating to Pittsburgh. He’s likely to get fired.

• Instead of moving Arizona’s team to Utah, the NHL should put a second team in Toronto. That metropolitan area could easily support two or three franchises, and it would be hilarious when the newcomers won a Stanley Cup before the Leafs do.

• The stupidity of New York Rangers goon Matt Rempe in these playoffs isn’t surprising. Nor, unfortunately, is the NHL media’s attempt at making him into a folk hero instead of lambasting his presence. That’s why hockey ranks sixth among the four major sports.

• Nothing is less funny than the TNT studio show for hockey. But they think they’re hilarious. It’s reminiscent of a bunch of stoned guys laughing at their own bad jokes. It’s “Half Baked” on ice.

• There’s no “power struggle” between Penguins president of hockey ops/GM Kyle Dubas and coach Mike Sullivan. There is disagreement: Probably over the dismissal of assistant coach Todd Reirden, for example. But disagreement isn’t uncommon. A “power struggle” is when this town isn’t big enough for the two of them. At any rate, Dubas is in charge.

• Sullivan disappointed me when he talked at season’s end about the good things his team did and the Penguins’ strong push to almost make the playoffs. That’s nonsense. Missing the playoffs for a second straight year is unacceptable, and what Sullivan said is unacceptable.

• Are there any No. 2 wide receivers left for the Steelers to get? It wouldn’t be surprising if they signed Tyler Boyd (ex-Cincinnati Bengals, ex-Pitt, ex-Clairton High School) and talked themselves into thinking he’s a No. 2, not a No. 3. (Former Steeler Bryant McFadden told me that might happen. One of his third- or fourth-hand sources told him.)

• It would be insane to have quarterback Justin Fields return punts, as special teams coach Danny Smith (via RB Jaylen Warren) said could occur. You don’t put a quarterback at risk like that, not even your second-stringer.

• It’s equally insane if the Steelers don’t have a package of plays for Fields that emphasizes his running talents.

• Fields isn’t the Steelers’ long-term quarterback. He was a bust in Chicago. Kenny Pickett was a bust in Pittsburgh. The Steelers ditched one failure and brought in another.

• The Los Angeles Lakers axed their coach, Darvin Ham. But they didn’t finish seventh in the Western Conference and lose to Denver in the first round of the playoffs because Ham is a bad coach. That happened because LeBron James is a terrible de facto GM. Player power runs rampant in the NBA and has ruined lots of teams. But nine of the NBA’s 10 highest-paid players are currently out of the playoffs.

• Germany’s Bayer Leverkusen is undefeated in all competitions after 48 games. If Bayer can win its remaining five games and finish the season without losing, it will be one of the most amazing accomplishments in the history of big-time sports, not just soccer.