Mark Madden's Hot Take: Barry Bonds belongs in Pirates' inaugural Hall of Fame class

The Pittsburgh Pirates are starting an in-house Hall of Fame. The initial inductees get unveiled Sept. 3 before the Pirates’ home game vs. Toronto.

This illustrates the Pirates’ two primary philosophies: “Don’t look here, look over there” and “Here’s a reason to buy a ticket besides lousy baseball.”

The first class of inductees is being hotly debated, at least among those of us with three hours of radio and/or word counts to fill.

Oneil Cruz’s mph pseudo-stats are lofty, but his batting average should probably be established above the Mendoza line before he gets in. Jack Suwinski got disqualified when he was sent to Triple-A. How about Quintana? That creep can roll, man.

The Pirates haven’t said how big the first class is. If it’s five, here are the automatic picks: Roberto Clemente, Honus Wagner, Willie Stargell, Ralph Kiner and Barry Bonds.

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The qualifications for the first three are obvious.

Kiner led the National League in home runs for seven consecutive years from 1946-52.

Bonds earned the NL MVP award twice while with the Pirates. No other Pirate won it more than once. Bonds is arguably baseball’s best hitter ever. The eye test says Bonds didn’t use PEDs during his days in Pittsburgh.

Oh, you don’t like Bonds? That shouldn’t matter.

If it’s a Hall of “like,” that’s OK. But say that. Because then it’s stupid and, hopefully, no one pays attention.

If the Pirates choose to induct more than five, that changes the game. (It also dilutes the honor, but it would be nice if somebody showed up for the ceremony. Four of the automatic five are deceased, and Bonds’ presence is unlikely.)

Bill Mazeroski is in the next five. He’s a Baseball Hall of Famer, and his World Series-winning home run in 1960 is the greatest moment in franchise history.

Dave Parker, too. He was NL MVP, All-Star Game MVP and two-time batting champion. His inclusion would highlight his idiotic exclusion from the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Josh Gibson never played for the Pirates. That’s why he’s not in the automatic five. But the Negro League star is one of baseball’s best ever. (The Pirates rightly have determined that Negro League standouts who played for Pittsburgh teams are eligible.)

Andrew McCutchen would be a good pick PR-wise. But he’s still playing.

Steve Blass is a likely selection, and deserving. (One report says Blass definitely will be inducted Sept. 3.)

Blass won two games in the 1971 World Series, including Game 7. He was the pitching rotation’s anchor during much of his tenure. Post-career, Blass burnished his legacy on the club’s broadcast crew and as a peerless ambassador for the team. He would make the ceremony a lot of fun.

Jason Kendall has a chance. During his nine seasons in Pittsburgh, the Pirates never posted a winning record. But he hit .306, made three All-Star Games and was recognized as one of his era’s better catchers.

Players like Paul Waner, Pie Traynor and Arky Vaughn could certainly be named and probably will. But let’s be honest: No one remembers them.

If Bonds doesn’t get in, that’s all too transparent. If Kiner doesn’t get in, it’s a farce.

But it’s the Pirates. Why would you expect things to go right?