Mark Madden's Hot Take: Joey Chestnut drama is frankly ridiculous

The world of competitive eating was split asunder this past week when the annual July 4 Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest at Coney Island banned 16-time winner Joey Chestnut because he’s endorsing a vegan frankfurter.

Only in America.

But Chestnut rebounded quickly: He will go one-on-one with six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi on Labor Day in an event called “Unfinished Beef” despite the aforementioned vegan implications.

Kobayashi hasn’t competed in the Nathan’s contest since 2009 due to a contract dispute with governing body Major League Eating. He was arrested after rushing the stage at the contest in 2010.

Only in America.

Chestnut and Kobayashi need to get this year’s Nathan’s winner to compete in their Labor Day outing: Make it a three-way dance, thus neutering the Nathan’s contest. Unless the Nathan’s winner also triumphed on Labor Day.

Why is this on the sports page again?

I’m backing Nathan’s in the dispute with Chestnut. Mostly because their hot dogs are amazing. Vegan frankfurters are the work of Godless communists.

TV viewers and those attending don’t care about the individuals involved in a mockery of sport like this. The same guy winning 16 times is boring.

People just want to see the gluttony. What’s disgusting, not who’s digesting. Hogs at the trough.

I’m glad somebody made it pay off.

My big beef (ahem) with the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest is that they’re not really eating hot dogs. They disassemble the hot dogs, eating wiener and bun separately after dunking the bun in water.

They should have to eat actual hot dogs, wiener on bun, not taken apart, and a minimum of two condiments should be required. Bonus points for onions, jalapenos, anything spicy.

I once saw a ghost pepper eating contest at Nemacolin. A fairly attractive woman projectile vomited. I was there to judge a chili cook-off with Cam Heyward and then-Steelers kicker Shaun Suisham.

Highlight of my career. Until this column, anyway.